Money money

The other day I spent some money on things that I thought would be helpful when, in 3-4 months, our family will grow by 2. We are facing the excitement and nervous knowledge that comes when you realise that having 4 kids under the age of 3 is a real possibility. When I was placing the above mentioned order for diaper bags and organizers, I found myself thinking about what being a stay at home mom means to the bottom line of our bank account. I know that I contribute to this marriage and our family in a real way, that even though I don’t bring home a paycheck, I am making valuable contributions to the lives of the people I have chosen to serve. What is sometimes a challenge for me is the knowledge that every cent I spend was not earned by me at a workplace. I am not trying to de-value what I do, I am just saying that sometimes, because I like to be independent, I have a hard time spending “our” money in the same way I used to spend “mine.” Since our family has been all together again, I have assumed responsibility of our banking. I know where our money goes, where it needs to go, and what bills are coming when. I am not always great at it but it is one less thing for my husband to worry about. Taking on this task has given me a better picture of how hard and diligently my husband has to work in order to support our decision for me to stay home. Our expenses are not enormous but they are typical of most families with children. I have found that spending money for me has taken a new meaning. I think twice before handing over cash or my debit card for non-essentials. Is this something I need? My husband has done nothing to make me think this way, it is a choice I make. I know that me staying home was just as much a desire of my husband’s as it was of mine. I know that when we had children he was expecting to find his work load to be all sustaining. My desire is to be worthy of the trust and confidence my husband places in me. He doesn’t just like that I stay home, he trusts that I am going to do my best to make sure things run smoothly. I am not always successful, and many times I stumble. But there is one area in which I can show him how much I respect the work he does and the time he dedicates to supporting our family. I can be wise with the money that the Lord has blessed our family with. I can step back and check to make sure that the money I spend is money that will benefit my family, that it will show my husband how much I love and respect him for his hard work, that it will ultimately glorify God by spending this gift wisely. That doesn’t mean I don’t buy things for myself or sometimes get carried away when replenishing my wardrobe. It means that, as much as possible, I try to be honest with myself about the motivation behind the buy. Is it selfish? Sometimes it is, and I feel guilty. That is not how I strive to spend. What I have found is that the more careful I am to be smart with our money, the more my husband is understanding of occasional splurges. The more I show that I truly respect and honor the work my husband does, the more he understands purchases I make for the family, even if he can’t see the end game. The biggest way I can avoid financial fights in my home is by being a wise steward of the funds placed in my care, the trust placed in me as a wife and mother. How I treat the money my husband works for, the money God gives, is in some ways a reflection of how I am going to treat the other gifts I am given. It seems like a small thing sometimes, but it spills over into a whole lot of areas.