To Serve.

I got my butt kicked in church on Sunday, and it was great! I mean that in the figurative sense, not the literal one. No one at my church goes around beating people up. What I mean is that our pastor delivered a very insightful message on a Christian’s calling to serve. If you want, you can listen to the message here (servitude). To put it into context, I started my morning in a bad mood. I was annoyed, frustrated, and tired. I got up with my children and we went through the usual routine, but I was not graceful or happy about it. I didn’t want to be doing what needed to be done. My actions were completely separate from how my heart was feeling. I wanted to be in bed, I wanted to be mad at my husband because I wanted to trade places. I basically didn’t want to be serving anyone in my family. Then we went to church, and there I was presented with a message that shamed me for how I had been thinking and behaving that morning, so I promptly went home and didn’t change anything. Bad me. It wasn’t until the kids were close to being in bed and most of my work for the daytime hours was done that I really started thinking about the message that touched me that morning. While I have been aware for my whole life that I am called to serve within my church family, that I am called as a wife to serve my husband, I failed to recognise the all encompassing thing that servitude should be. It is easy to compartmentalise this area of my faith, to keep it relegated to specific church and home functions. That is where I fall far short of what is expected. I am actually called to serve in every area of my life, at every moment, in every way. Serving is hard. It is often thankless, and it takes away any idea or sense of status. But this kind of service, the real kind of service, the kind of service I am supposed to strive for, is the same kind that Jesus showed at every turn. And it goes beyond just actions. It is a service from the heart, from the innermost part of me that says “I am less, you are greater.” It is so hard to do. Especially at home. Serving as Martha did is not enough, going through the motions is not enough. I need to humble myself, I need to put myself last, I need to graciously tend to others before myself. I need to respect my husband enough to let him lead our family, I need to serve Brian by showing him the respect and deference due him as the head of our home. I am not saying that he is superior to me, I am saying that we fill different roles in our home and I need to be more focussed on filling my role well. It was interesting to me that on Sunday we looked at a passage that said how Jesus was faithful and served even unto death on the cross. I am sure that there are some of you who are very familiar with this passage. What struck me on Sunday morning was what that really means. Jesus died in one of the most ignoble ways known to society at that time. He did not die a hero’s death, a warriors death, a peaceful death, or a noble death. He died as a criminal, on display, the world watching. He died beside some of the worst of society. He died as people mocked Him, watched Him with scorn. He died bearing my sin, serving me by covering my awfulness with His blood. Worst of all, He died and separated Himself from his Father, plunging into the depths of sin, so that I can have hope. That is servitude, that is what I am called to do. I am called to have a heart so focussed on others that I am willing to plunge myself into filth to help them. I am called to set aside any ideas I have about social status or reputation and get my hands and heart behind the work that Christ began. Serving is about so much more than filling a spot on a team at church, about so much more than caring for my family, about so much more than helping here and there in the community. It is about taking my heart and asking the God I trust to give me the heart He wants, give me a desire and love of serving in whatever way I can. I am really not good at this kind of thing. I barely know my neighbours. I desire recognition and rewards. It is hard to lay that down and pick up where Christ left off. It is so hard for me to be heart first with my service. But I am called to do this for a reason. Not only is this type of service good for me, it furthers the Kingdom. Instead of striving for greatness here, for recognition in this broken and decaying world, I need to strive for greatness in the Kingdom. And that can only be done with God, with a greater One than me working on my heart, changing my attitude. Maybe, if I work hard enough, if I focus more on serving with my hands, the heart part will follow more easily. If I can remind myself daily that the heavenly reward is the greatest one, maybe then I won’t care so much about the earthly treasures that will quickly fade. I strive for greatness not known on earth, I have assurance that my Father will help me. May my heart someday (soon) match the work of my hands.