There was a time, maybe a year and a half after Aleeda came home, that she started limping and complaining about leg pain. She had taken a couple of pretty good tumbles and Britton had recently broken her arm. So I took her to the ER thinking maybe she had a fracture or break that I hadn’t caught. Its silly now, but at the time I was concerned. Turns out it was a growth spurt. *Hand to forehead* moment. The reason this story is relevant right now is that I have been experiencing some growing pains of my own.
I am no stranger to difficulty. No one is, really. What I have noticed is that not only is God faithful in the troubled times, but he is generous. That is not me saying that I get all the answers I want, the way I want, when things are tough. It is me saying that God is generous with giving me what I need in abundance. When Aleeda was sick, and getting sicker, God gave me the space I needed to increase in faith. When we came home and things were challenging, God gave me abundant opportunity to discover the unique role he has for me as a woman, wife and mother. When we had the twins, God gave me the gift of understanding the immense value of waiting on and resting in him. When things were busy, God gave me the scripture I needed to build my prayer life, to learn to live and breathe and walk in prayerful-ness. And now, as I struggle with anger and bitterness and frustration, God is giving me the strength I need to be meek and humble and firm. I open my bible and am faced with stories of men who were in situations they didn’t want, who had more responsibility than they could handle alone, and God gave them the courage to live each day His way.
If you want to get a picture, just read Paul’s letters to Timothy. It becomes apparent pretty quickly that Timothy is struggling. He suffers from some kind of stomach illness, is apparently rather frail. He was leading a church and facing opposition and dissension on numerous fronts. And it seems he might have wanted to walk away. But Paul does not give him an inch. He lovingly and firmly tells this young man to stand rooted, to be strong, knowing that God has gifted this frail and sickly man with leadership abilities. And his letters, instead of capitulating to Timothy’s feelings, just say “here is how to get your job done, here are the requirements and here is what you are to teach.” All of that while also trying to shore this young man up, to encourage him and prod him into action. To help Timothy understand that he has been gifted to serve, and that gift is a mark of God’s faithfulness.
I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.
And that is true of us all. We are all, who are in the body, considered faithful and appointed to service. Foolishness is doing any less. I won’t lie: there are many times that I don’t want to serve anymore; be it in my marriage, my family, my church, my community. It’s hard, especially when I face opposition or circumstances that are beyond my control. So many times I have felt at the end of my rope, only to look down and find that God has braided more and given me the strength to keep holding on. Because He considers me faithful. He has given me strength and gifted me and appointed me.
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.
It stands to reason that if God has given me all these things, than he fully expects me to use them. I have in my arsenal all the power and love and self-discipline I need to accomplish whatever the Lord has placed before me. Whether or not I use it is up to me. And in these growing pains, I use them all more and more everyday. My Father is faithful to his promises. I need to be faithful in my service.
All this to say that I am constantly awed by God. By the ways my Father has blessed me through the pain. By the lessons I have learned. By the way that He gives me just the understanding I need at the moment I need it to accomplish what has been placed before me. I shouldn’t be surprised, it is no less than I am promised. But it is amazing. It is easier to serve the more I bear witness to the unfailing nature of God’s goodness. And the more I know, the more anxious I am to see how God is going to continue to grow me. And I anticipate the day when God reveals a fuller picture of his plan, when I get to see the ways in which He will have me use what he has revealed and taught and refined in me. I have said it before and I will say it again; I am so joyously thankful for the suffering and struggles in my life because they have brought me so much blessing from the very hands of God. And as I face this next chapter, I have been given a better understanding of the kind of strength that comes from the Spirit to allow me to live meekly and humbly and firmly rooted in God. He knows what I need.
He has shown you, oh man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)
faith from the stove 