Fasten your seat belts. This one is a bit of a rocky ride.
I received this book from a friend. It was after coming home from our lengthy sojourn in hospital with Aleeda and I needed some wifely direction. I will preface this by saying that, while I can find criticism hard to take, I always try to be willing to honestly evaluate my life in light of some well intention-ed direction. This book is very straightforward and blunt. It requires a lot of honesty as an individual on an introspective level. It also requires the reader to be discerning. There are some parts of Debbie’s writing that I found a little extreme and a little too black and white. This needs to be read with a mind and heart full of grace towards myself.
Does that introduction scare you? Sorry, I promise it’s not all that bad.
The Pros:
This book is rooted and grounded in biblical truths and principles. It is a blunt and honest guide for wives about both our role in marriage and our role in life. There isn’t a lot of sugar coating, which I really appreciated. Just tell me like it is and let me analyse it against God’s word. This book is great for women who don’t want to be lead in a circuitous route to a conclusion. It gets to the point.
There is a lot of great and practical advice for everything from budget friendly meal planning, to parenting, to making an effective appeal to your husband on an area that you feel strongly about.
There are a lot of great quotes. A lot. Get this one in print and have a highlighter ready.
Debbie is very clearly writing from a place of genuine love and concern for women today. She sees and knows the value of objective truth in both life and love. She has a heart to help women succeed in marriage and relationships. And she has the age and experience to warn about the outcomes and dangers of deviating from God’s plan. This is so valuable when society today is a world of subjectives, especially in relationships. This is the encouragement I needed to stay the course of God’s boundaries instead of relying on my unreliable feelings to guide my behaviour. There is great temptation in behaving in a tit-for-tat manner in marriage and this book really draws the line and shows the dangers of such behaviour. Yes, some of her examples are extreme, but they are also real stories. It helps put things into perspective.
There are also plenty of light moments that will make you chuckle. This is not an angry diatribe against modern feminine ideas, but rather advice from a grandmother who cares. She has plenty of funny stories and encouraging words to keep this from feeling like a weighty work of dos and don’ts.
Cons:
This is an easy book to get riled about. Her language is very blunt and people who are not used to that kind of approach may feel attacked. It takes a lot to not respond in frustration at some of the things she is saying, because they often go against the selfish desires of my heart.
It can also be easy to focus on the wrong parts of this and take on an extreme version of the role she is encouraging. Pay careful attention to her instruction on how to be a respectful woman without being a door-mat woman. There is room for strength in marriage, as long as it is clothed in dignity.
I would really recommend reading this after The Accidental Feminist. That book really helps lay the groundwork for identifying wrong thinking before you are faced with the blunt instruction and encouragement of this book. It would also help you be more discerning about what parts of Debbie’s writing to take literally in practice and what parts you have some room for interpretation.
All in all, this really is a wonderful and biblically based guide for women in marriage, especially women struggling in a difficult or challenging marriage. If you are not too terrified by this review to try it out, you can find it here.
faith from the stove 